They say that beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. Whether true or not, what the saying implies is that mere physical features are not all that makes a person unattractive. Although we should never judge a book by its cover, here are a few things that are not pretty.
- Personality – No matter what you look like, a bad personality will spoil it for anyone. If you spend all your time on your appearance, and not on your social skills, nobody will find you attractive.
- Dirty – You could be a really attractive person, but it won’t show through a layer of grime. Even if you don’t look like a Greek god or goddess, cleanliness is the next best thing.
- Smell bad – Who cares what you look like if you literally stink? Whether its body odor or overpowering perfume, when you smell bad, nobody wants to get close enough to see your inner beauty.
- Frowning/Negative attitude – Nothing spoils a beautiful countenance like a perpetual frown. A smile, of course, would have the opposite affect. Are you constantly complaining or always seeing the worst in everything? This may have others seeing the worst in you.
- Bad Teeth – Smiling can have a negative affect, however, if you don’t take care of your teeth. Stained, crooked or missing teeth can have a detrimental impact on your overall appearance.
- Ugly clothes – Nobody will see your lovely face if they can’t take their eyes off your hideous clothes. At least this is something easily “changed.”
- Hair – So many people make very unfortunate choices in what they do with their hair. Some guys will hide their best features behind a big bushy beard. Although your hair may not be your best feature, don’t make it your worst.
- Morbid obesity – Most people would not consider being a few pounds overweight as ugly, but there’s a limit. At some point people will not be able to get past the layers you’ve put in the way.
- Annoying voice – You may think she’s the most beautiful woman in the room until she opens her mouth. The voice that sets your teeth on edge will be an ugly feature for both guys and gals.
- Bad habits – Biting your nails, picking or sucking your teeth, loudly chewing gum and spitting are just a few things that will affect your appearance to others. These are all bad but smoking or chewing tobacco are the worst!
We all have to make the best of the physical attributes we have. For those of us who are more blessed than others, your beauty is only in the eye of the beholder. Make sure you’re not doing something to sabotage your appearance.
“How do you know when you’ve met the right one?”
Almost everyone asks this question at some point in their lives; unfortunately, there are not too many who get a concrete answer. But if you’re reading this article, then you’re one of the lucky few.
Interestingly, the criteria for choosing a spouse can be reduced to just four key characteristics. If you can find somebody with all four then it’s highly likely that you’ve found your life partner.
1) What is This Person’s Core Values?
Before you decide to marry someone, make sure that they are fully committed to some kind of objective moral and ethical standard. Whether we realize it or not, everyone has some kind of core value that is central to their personality. And when push comes to shove, that value is going to be the most important thing in the world to that person.
For example: Jerry’s core value is adventure. When Jerry starts to date Diana, he happens to be volunteering at the local Emergency Room. He goes there every night, holds people’s hands, calms them down. And Diana is thinking to herself that Jerry must have a heart of gold if this is how he’s spending his spare time. Now, Jerry might really have a heart of gold. But he’s volunteering because of his love for adventure. The ER is filled with action, it’s exciting. So right now, Jerry’s adventurousness happens to be expressing itself in a kind way. But that could change. Jerry might stop volunteering, and start trying other adventures that Diana may find unpleasant, dangerous, or even unethical.
However, if Jerry’s core value is a commitment to goodness and caring, then everything he does will rotate around that, including his marriage. And Diana will be a very lucky woman if she marries him.
So how do you get to know the true Jerry? Surprisingly, it’s not that difficult. No matter what a person’s core value is, you will see him or her sacrificing for it on a daily basis. If Jerry’s core value is adventure, then he might risk an accident in order to speed through an intersection or arrive late at work because he followed a police chase. If Diana follows him carefully, she’ll see that he places adventure above other important things on his list of priorities. But if Jerry’s core value is goodness, then Diana will see him give up on certain things in order to be kind. If the waiter mixes up his order, he’ll say thank you and eat the dish anyway. He’ll let the other guy cross the intersection first, or he might be late to work because he drove a little old lady home with her groceries. If Diana follows him carefully, then she’ll see him let go of some of his own desires in order to take care of other people.
So look for someone who is committed at the core to a higher set of values that you can appreciate.
2) Does This Person Treat Others Well?
Number two is obvious: You want to marry someone who is going to take care of you and treat you well. How to figure it out? Simple. Spend time with this person, and pay attention to how they treat others whom they don’t necessarily care about because they’re not trying to charm them. Do they thank the attendant who pumped gas for them? Are they courteous to people at checkout counters? Do they curse out people who don’t deliver on time, like telephone operators or overworked waitresses? Do they tend to drive aggressively, as if there’s no one else on the road?
Ask yourself questions like these and take note of the answers – because they reflect characteristics that will come out down the line. Most people don’t guard themselves so carefully that they’ll hide how they treat others. So watch them, and you’ll know how they’re going to treat you after you’re married.
3) Do We Communicate Well With Each Other?
In other words, make sure that you understand each other. This may seem obvious, but it’s not.
Sometimes you can see a couple in a fight and they argue for an hour, two hours, maybe even overnight. And then, at the end of round 16, it turns out that the whole thing was just a misunderstanding: “Oh, I thought you meant that…That’s not what you meant? Oh, then we agree.”
Although on an occasional basis this can happen to anyone, if it’s happening constantly then it’s not a good sign because that may not change. If you’re constantly misunderstanding each other, then you might want to put this relationship on hold for a while.
4) Are We Physically Attracted to Each Other?
Physical attraction is an essential part of marriage. You cannot marry someone if you aren’t physically attracted to them. And while men arrive at this conclusion somewhat quickly, women should give themselves some more time. Very often, a woman may not feel attracted to a man initially, but after she gets to know him she finds him much more attractive than before.
A word of caution: Although physical attraction is essential, you can’t base a marriage on physicality. Whatever is going on physically is meant to be an expression of something deep that is happening on the emotional and spiritual level. The rule is – make sure that physical attraction is there, but don’t get swept away by it. The other three characteristics are just as important, if not more so.
So there you have it. The next time you date someone, put what you’ve learned here into practice. It’ll save you a lot of time and heartache, and you might find yourself walking down the aisle faster than you think.
It’s a fact. There are a lot of people who feel unhappy in their marriage. But the real question many of them are asking themselves is, how do I know when my marriage is really over?
Is it when your spouse says, “I don’t love you anymore?” Is it after an affair takes place? How do you REALLY know? Keep reading to find out how to identify the warning signs that often indicate your spouse has given up on your marriage.
First and Foremost: Has your spouse reached The Point of No Return?
What is the Point of No Return in a marriage? Is there such a thing? After working with couples for over 11 years, I’ve identified a specific “path” that couples travel on the way to divorce. And at the end of this path is what I call…The Point of No Return.
But I’m getting ahead of myself…let me back up for a second.
In most cases, your marriage is NOT over when:
- Your spouse moves out
- When your spouse says the infamous, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you anymore”
- When your spouse threatens you with divorce
And believe it or not, in some cases, your marriage is NOT even over when…your spouse files for divorce.
Your marriage is NOT over when your spouse begs, pleads, argues, screams, storms out of the house or turns the whole family against you.
Quite the contrary, The Point of No Return in a marriage IS confirmed when your spouse looks at you as if s/he were dead.
There is no life in your spouse’s voice and no life in his/her eyes. Your spouse doesn’t get angry with you. S/he simply tells you when the divorce papers are going to be served. S/he’s already gone to the court house, found an attorney and has a service date set for the divorce proceedings.
Your marriage is most likely over when your spouse has made complete lists of assets and debts with your both of your names on them. Your spouse has already decided on the custody plan and cleaned out any bank accounts with their name and yours and closed all the credit cards that you share.
Your spouse has reached The Point of No Return when s/he already knows the courts require a 120 day waiting period and s/he has emotionally bolted him/herself in place for the long wait.
You’ve gone WAY beyond an “unhappy marriage” when your spouse has talked many times to the children about divorce and they are now either scared, angry, hurt, confused or emotionally shut down.
There’s a good chance your marriage is over when your spouse doesn’t care about how your children feel about it. S/he is only acting for his/her own survival at this point and s/he has repeatedly convinced him/herself that “The kids are good, they’ll be fine.” S/he may have even said that to friends and relatives.
This is the REAL Point of No Return. I’ve found that when your spouse has reached the Point of No Return, no one can save your marriage at this point. Not a priest, pastor or marriage counselor.
So How Did this Happen?
A marriage gets to this point because we live in a society that is convinced that once you are married, there is nothing you need to learn about marriage and nothing you need to practice.
All you need is love.
If you don’t have love, then it’s all your fault that your marriage failed. Because of this belief, you kept on doing exactly what you always did…your version of love.
You treated your spouse the same way your father treated your mother…or vice versa. You kept on doing the same thing and kept on getting the same results.
Your spouse could not help you to help him/her. No matter how many times s/he told you how to meet his/her needs, you couldn’t hear…you just couldn’t understand.
How do I know this?
I know it because every single divorce is built on the same system. When your emotional needs are not met in a marriage, anywhere from 1-3 of the situations listed below will begin to take place in your marriage.
Because you know virtually nothing about how to be married and how to support each other’s needs, you have no way to stop these issues from happening:
- Affair
- Sex failure
- Communication break down
- No Loyalty
- In-Law problems
- Grew apart
- Fell out of love
- Blended family issues
- Abusive attitudes
- Depression
- Angry spouse
- No romance
- Ignores me
- Money problems
- Children problems
- Avoids me
If your spouse has not yet passed the Point of No Return, you can still save your marriage; there is still hope for the two of you. But you need to do something TODAY to improve your unhappy marriage. Believe me, I get emails daily with stories about marriages that took a turn for the worst in a matter of WEEKS.
These people simply waited too long and before they knew it, their spouse had reached the Point of No Return. So my message to you is DON’T WAIT. Do something for your marriage TODAY…before it’s too late. You can start by getting the FREE marriage advice you can use to fix your marriage at the http://www.marriage-success-secrets.com website.
Note: This article is not legal advice. It is not meant to replace marriage counseling.
