Archive for the ‘Divorce’ Category
Are you feeling relieved after divorce or cheated? After many divorces people feel happy while in many rather more cases they feel cheated. Why? Divorce it self is a very painful process and the times that lead to divorce are more painful. The question is why get the sense of feeling cheated after getting divorce? Let us talk about this.
Relationship demands giving – People give a lot to their marriage; most of them do it except few. Right from the development of relationship, a lot of time, emotional energy and physical resources are given to make it work. During marriage the investment goes higher. Most of the partners want the marriage to work. There are exceptions that unbelievably want to destroy because of psychological problems. When cracks develop in the marriage, lot more effort is made to save the marriage and when the marriage breaks after putting in so much effort, one feels cheated.
Is this true for all? This is not true for all. There are few individuals who don’t give anything in marriage. They ask for it. The demand and contribute nothing. That is the game of selfishness played by them. So these people will never feel cheated. They will only feel bad that they lost an easy victim.
What should you do? The only way out is to forget the losses. Try to erase the past as much as possible. This will be difficult, but break the pain bit by bit. Work on it and it will go away one day. Try to forge another relationship and forget what went wrong. Cut your losses as soon as possible.
Cooperation may not be a word many people associate with divorce, but if the authors of a new book have their way, it soon will be. Called “The Collaborative Way To Divorce: The Revolutionary Method That Results in Less Stress, Lower Costs, and Happier Kids-Without Going to Court,” (Hudson Street Press, $23.95) the book provides what authors Stuart G. Webb and Ronald D. Ousky say is a way for couples to avoid litigation, without giving up what they want.
Their Collaborative process, which is a nationally acclaimed approach, is helping transform the way couples dissolve their marriages, divide assets, reinvent their post-divorce relationships and deal with custody issues.
For instance, the divorce process is traditionally started when one spouse prepares (with the help of an attorney) a summons and petition. That paperwork is then filed with the court and a judge is assigned the case. In Collaborative divorces, both clients and their attorneys meet for a four-way conference to discuss how everyone wants to proceed with the case. All parties sign an agreement which commits them to resolving all issues out of court.
The book guides readers step by step through the Collaborative process and emphasizes what the authors say is a key point: Collaborative divorces aren’t about going easy on your spouse, they’re about ending up with more money, less stress and happier kids.
It is true that marriages are made in heaven. But everything falls flat on their butt once a marriage hits the rocks. Every bit of reconciliation fails and divorce seems to be the only way out. If everything – both financial and other aspects – is settled before parting ways, then we can say – all is well that ends well. But if the separation is not so amicable and there is some sourness left somewhere in terms of an unsettled financial debt, things can turn both ugly and complex.
One such difficult situation arises when one of the partners incur a credit card debt, and the credit card debt after divorce assumes the form of a Damocles sword in the form of collection people, constantly nagging either of the ex-spouses to settle the due. The situation is a bit tricky here because whether the person who incurred the debt or the other ex-spouse has the real responsibility of making the payment is still not defined clearly by the law. The situation gets more complex when it comes to joint accounts. But let us see the credit card debt after divorce now.
Credit Card debt after divorce – mostly in joint credit cards – is generally seen by the creditors as the joint responsibility of the couple. Actually the spouse who didn’t incur the amount is not liable to pay, but the credit card company may seek payment from both the parties as they care only about the money due to them. What settlement had been reached after divorce is of little interest to these people.
One may feel that closing out credit card accounts (joint) is a solution to all these problems. If you have a responsible spouse, well this will work. But the fact is that the account does not cancel itself until somebody makes the payment. Also, after divorce, it is legally not practical to divide the debts. Hence these are some practical solution, from best to worst.
- Sell any joint asset (say, home) and pay the debt and close the account. It is a classic example of killing two birds with a stone.
- Separate credit cards can be a better option in such a situation. After applying, get the dues transferred into individual cards, divided according to your own logic or the way you spent.
- In this regard, if one of the spouses is not qualified to get a card, get one of the relatives to cosign the card before transferring the share of balance.
But, rather than being through this ordeal, the best option is to get yourself everything settled before divorce. It is always a pain to go behind all these joint issues when you are about to start a new life. Take Care!
